I have not been writing much recently. Book #3, tentatively entitled "Ticking: Finding Jesus", is about 85% complete. The chrononauts travel back to ancient Galilee to see if Jesus Christ actually existed. They may have underestimated the influence of the Roman Legion at the time, as one of them is forced to join what some have called the greatest army in history.
The reason for not writing is that I had heart surgery to repair a valve on September 28. I was at home, recovering, when I experienced atrial fibrillation (a “not unusual” result of this type of surgery). I had two cardioversions (electric paddles to the heart) done to correct the heart rhythm. But still I felt awful. Finally, the doctors drained fluid from the sac that surrounds the heart, some 750 mls apparently.
I am feeling much better now, but I swear that I saw the Son of God smiling at me at some time during my hospital stay. Might that have some bearing on the plot for "Ticking: Finding Jesus"?
In “Ticking: The Hawking Sequence”, this country lies south of Southumbria, as per the author hand-drawn map on page 74. The country is characterized by its rich mineral deposits, primarily silver and gold. Its very name is taken from the word for ‘gold’ in the Mother Language.
The Aurumia/Southumbria border meanders, as it is primarily based on the location of three major rivers: The River Ingens in the east, the Camino River and the Ovum River in the west.
Southumbrian families, particularly the Dispossessed, trying to find a better way of life journey south in the hope of entering Aurumia. Similarly, with mineral stocks nearing depletion in some parts of Southumbria, Southum prospectors and adventurers travel south to attempt to cross the border.
But illegal immigration is forbidden. So, the Aurumian government, through the iron-fisted Federal Immigration Regulating Enterprise, guards the border closely. River patrols are conducted daily by armed airships, ornithopters and steam boats. The waters of the Ovum Gulf are also patrolled, watching for insurgents from Siccanus, the large peninsula on the southwest portion of Southumbria. Aurumian border guards are able to act with impunity, and often shoot first and ask questions later.
Congrats to the prize winners from the draw held at my recent signing for "Ticking: The Hawking Sequence". Heinz Hammer of Chilliwack won first prize: an official "Ticking" T-shirt, matching coffee mugs and a baseball cap. Thanks to Heinz and his lovely wife Eunhee for a lovely lunch.
Second prize went to Mike Doolan of Coquitlam. Delivery of the highly-coveted prize meant social distancing and an elbow-touch. Mike's fantastic wife, Karen, ensured that hospital-like sanitation was upheld.
What did Jesus look like? What do you think?
In my upcoming third book, “Ticking: Finding Jesus”, the chrononauts go back in time to see if Jesus Christ actually existed.
But if he did, what did he look like?
Everyone knows that he was a rather handsome man, right? Of course, the chrononauts would be searching for a kind of a Ryan Gosling/Jake Gyllenhaal combo, like the man on the left below.
Given sufficient millennia, I suppose that anyone can be as handsome as a Hollywood actor. But recent depictions of Christ are probably more complimentary than reality or logic suggests.
What Jesus looked like is, of course, secondary to His Message. That vision has undergone metamorphosis as scholars over the years have debated his appearance.
The focus of early sources was on the physical unattractiveness of Jesus. The 2nd century anti-Christian philosopher Celsus cruelly wrote that Jesus was "ugly and small". Another scholar stated that Jesus's form was despised, that he had an ignoble appearance and, sadly, his suffering proved the 'abject condition' of his body.
Others claim that he was a weak and inglorious man. The Acts of the Apostles is early Christian literature, recounting the lives and works of the apostles of Jesus. In the Acts of Peter, he is described as small and ugly to the ignorant. In the Acts of John, he is seen as bald-headed, with no good looks.
It seems more probable that Jesus was, to some degree, physically robust. Jesus is traditionally known as a carpenter and not rich. So, given the physicality of that occupation and the absence of dietary excess, he was likely lean of stature. And, he walked a lot!
Archaeological and forensic anthropological research suggests that Judeans of the time, like Jesus, were biologically close to Iraqi Jews. Thus, the average Judean (I’m lumping Judeans and Galileans together) would likely have had dark brown or black hair. Jesus’ hair was probably cut short, as the Bible says that “long hair is a dishonour to a man.”
He likely had an olive or dark reddish complexion and brown eyes.
Judean men of the period were not tall; about 1.65 metres or 5 feet 5 inches. Jesus probably had short hair and a beard, in accordance with Jewish practices of the time and the appearance of philosophers.
Scholars believe that he may have looked something like the man on the right below.
“I don't know how to take this, I don't see why he moves me. He's a man, he's just a man…”
From Jesus Christ, Superstar (1973)
Logically, it seems that Jesus was just a man; a regular-looking Galilean man. What do you think?
Look for “Ticking: Finding Jesus” coming this fall to a rain forest near you.
So, you’re self-isolating. Sequestered. Feeling rather…hermitic. It’s been weeks since your last haircut and you don’t feel like cutting your nails or shaving. What’s the point, right?
Scratching your stubbly neck, you realize that your significant other has disappeared into another part of the house; doing her part to social distance herself, you suppose.
Face it, you are becoming a hermit.
So, what is a ‘hermit’? A hermit is someone who lives in seclusion from society, usually for religious reasons.
As the wealthy tradesman, his wife and mistress discovered in “Ticking: A Tale of Two Time Travellers”, hermits were also employed by aristocrats to simply exist, as a part of the landscape surrounding the estate, to entertain visitors and to, somehow, improve the aristocrat’s cache. This phenomenon -- the ornamental or garden hermit -- occurred primarily in Georgian England, Ireland and Scotland, but hermits were also employed in continental Europe.
Prior to hiring a hermit, estate owners would have a hermitage constructed. If a grotto or cave were not available, this place of lodging might be a rustic shack.
The aristocrat might demand that his hermit dress in a costume, often as a druid. Although it is unclear as to what a druid looked like, the ‘druid costume’ unfortunately included a cap that looked much like a dunce cap.
The aristocrat in ‘Ticking’, Sir William Mansfield, made no such costume demand. He paid his hermit to simply live on the estate grounds, in a grotto. Estate staff would bring him meals and empty his chamber pot daily.
The hermit was forbidden to converse with anyone and was to “neither to wash himself…in any way…but is to let his hair and nails both on hands and feet, grow as long as nature will permit them.” (from an advertisement referenced in Sir William Gell’s ‘A Tour in the Lakes Made in 1797’).
Payment was made only after completion of a contract of, say, 5 to 7 years. At the end of that period, Sir William paid his man a pension equivalent to the annual income of a regular working man, for the remainder of the hermit’s life.
The first thing the hermit would do, I suppose, upon completion of the contract is to cut his fingernails, as he was forbidden to cut them during his tenure. Five years of growth would make them long (there’s a vast range for fingernail growth, between 0.5 and 4 inches per year). So, a hermit could have 20-inch nails at the end of his 5-year contract.
Cutting his nails would allow him the dexterity to perform other needed sanitary tasks, like finally bathing, washing his hair and shaving his beard. The bath would likely not be in a bath tub, as only the rich had tubs.
So, while you self-isolate, bear in mind the sad existence of the garden hermit. Then, order a non-contact pizza or something and consider yourself pretty well-off.
AUDIOBOOK -- Ticking: A Tale of Two Time Travellers, Chapters 37 to 48, the final chapter
In this troubled time, enjoy. I'll post additional chapters so that you can complete the book and, hopefully, leave me a comment or two. Stay safe, wash hands...you know the drill.
Craig retired in 2015 and has been writing ever since. And boy, is his hand tired.